The Third Victim of Abortion
 
By Nathan Tabor
 
³There are two victims to every abortion, but only one survives.²
 
This quote, frequently heard among pro-life advocates, acknowledges that
every abortion produces both a dead baby and a wounded mother. Both are
victims of violence and trauma. The baby¹s life is brutally ended and the
mother¹s is emotionally scarred, at the very least.
 
But for every abortion there is also a third victim that gets overlooked
most of the time. That victim is the father of the aborted child. Now I know
that this isn¹t the politically correct approach, since modern feminists
insist that abortion is all about the mother¹s body, her feelings and her
choices. But I think we need to acknowledge that those potential
fathers-to-be may have feelings, too.
 
I know of one case where a young couple was planning to be married. They
lived a hard-partying lifestyle, and the pretty young woman got pregnant.
But she didn¹t tell the father until several weeks after she had aborted the
child. He was crushed and hurt and angry.
 
³I wanted to marry you,² he screamed. ³We were already engaged. How could
you kill my child? Why didn¹t you even tell me?²
 
 ³I was afraid you wouldn¹t want me any more if I got fat,² she replied.
³Besides, what do you care? It was my choice. It doesn¹t have anything to do
with you.²
 
Her response was as telling as her unilateral decision to terminate the
pregnancy. To her, the father was really just a sperm donor. He had no
feelings and no rights. Why should he even care? The couple soon broke up,
largely because of this conflict.
 
The cynical feminist view that sees all men as selfish, unfeeling louts is
seriously flawed. And it is also logically inconsistent with the rest of the
commonly accepted gender roles expected of parents in society.
 
Before birth, does a father have the same rights as a mother? Yes, if the
mother decides to keep the baby. Together they make the decisions about
where to live, what doctor to see, what nutrition plan the mother should be
on, how they will divide the responsibilities after birth, and much more.
Anticipating delivery, the typical father is deeply concerned for the health
and safety of both the mother and child.
 
After birth, does a father have the same rights as the mother? Yes, assuming
the couple is married, they make all the important life decisions together,
such as what to name their baby, and where to send the child to school. It¹s
hard to imagine a happier picture than that of a proud papa cradling his
newborn baby in his arms.
 
Even where the parents are unmarried or divorced, the courts give certain
parental rights to non-custodial fathers. They can spend time with the
child, take trips, make decisions about the child¹s future < and of course
pay out the money needed to support the child.
 
Does a father have to pay child support, even if he never wanted the child?
Yes, and rightfully so. He made the decision to gratify himself sexually,
just like the woman did. So why should she alone have to bear the burden of
raising the child for the rest of her life? Some men really are unfeeling
louts who don¹t care about their offspring, but the law still holds them
responsible for the support of their children.
 
But what about the father who fervently wants his unborn child to live? Does
he have the right to stop the mother from having an abortion? No. So, then,
fathers have to pay child support, but have no say in the abortion decision.
This is a glaring problem and it should be solved. Why shouldn¹t the mother
just deliver the baby, even if she doesn¹t want to keep it, and then turn it
over to the father, who does love it and who wants to raise it?
 
What will it take to right this injustice? Men will have to organize and
demand that the laws be changed. The emerging Fathers¹ Rights movement may
be very similar to the uphill fight of the brave women suffragettes who
organized and won equal voting rights. (See the website:
http://www.garybhaley.com/MyThoughtsOn/frameEqualRights.htm

Also,
http://www.priestsforlife.org/postabortion/postabortiontestimonymen.htm

is a great site for explaining why the father is the victim.)
 
The radical feminists¹ lopsided emphasis on the mother¹s alleged right to
choose has traditionally been counterbalanced by the pro-lifers¹ emphasis on
the unborn child¹s inalienable right to life. To me, Life trumps Choice any
day of the week.
 
But it¹s high time we gave some serious thought to the rights of the father,
who really is the third victim of any abortion. After all, at least one-half
of every child is the biological and genetic product of the father. That
father may want to see his son learn to throw a baseball, or watch his
daughter learn to dance. That father deserves a voice.
 
Copyright © 2005 by Nathan Tabor
 
Nathan Tabor is a conservative political activist based in Kernersville,
North Carolina. He has his BA in Psychology and his Master¹s Degree in
Public Policy. He is a contributing editor at www.theconservativevoice.com.
Contact him at nathan@nathantabor.com