Those Poisonous Kennedy's

By Steven Gore Uhler
Commentary

George “Dubya” was not my first choice in the Republican Primary, but I must admit I am very favorably impressed with his leadership.
But there is one puzzle about our president that I can’t solve; he grew up on the plains of west Texas. He should have a pretty fair knowledge of diamondbacks, sidewinders, horned vipers, Gila Monsters, scorpions and other such poisonous critters.
I only spent a couple of years knocking around the southwest and I still shakeout every pair of boots and every blanket. You never know where those vile critters might be lurking. George “Dubya” should know this by this time and you don’t clasp poisonous vipers to your bosom.
When the president toured the country with that poisonous puff-adder, Ted Kennedy, all I could think was, “Watch it, Dubya, you’d better shake that critter loose and get him out in the daylight where you can stomp him.”
The President was so intent on passing his education bill he took up with all sorts of sneaky critters in the interest of “bipartisanship.”
Mr. President, I realize that you are board again and righteous, and I know that the good book says that a righteous man can take up with vipers without harm.
Dubya, “things that you’re liable to read in the bible, ain’t necessarily so.”
Sure enough old Teddy was on every channel the next day, with full venom, striking at the President from every angle.
As I watched that pompous master of class warfare spewing his partisan words of hate all I could think was, “Why did you hide under your hotel bed while you young date drowned in the icy waters of Chappaquiddick?”
The Kennedys are masters of class warfare. Divide and conquer.
State by state they have spread out to assume what they believe is the divine right of a Kennedy.
Put the wealthy against the poor, black against the white, immigrants against the old families. Use any lever to pry open a political advantage.
Now the Kennedys have decided to add Maryland to their divinely ordained realm.
Now they have positioned one of their own to take over the state of Maryland.
Poor thing. She is ugly as a ground squirrel, with the charisma of a stump lizard and dumb as an oyster, but she has a $6 million dollar war chest (and growing) and she is a Kennedy. She will use her money to buy up the urban vote around Baltimore and D.C. and Maryland will be in the bag.
Give us a break!
The real citizens of Maryland, in Southern Maryland, Western Maryland and the Eastern Shore should have some say in the state.
We have suffered through eight years of pornographic Parris. It is time to give us a break. The Republicans have a fine young man in Erlich, but he has raised less than half a million.
The Kennedys will blow him out of the water before he gets his sails up.
There is a man in Maryland who has the recognition world wide to raise enough funds, he has an impeccable reputation, and has intellectual capacity far exceeding your average politicians.
He was a presidential candidate last time and won every debate he entered.
Alan Keyes for Governor.
He could beat that Kennedy woman.
All intelligent Maryland voters who heard him speak would vote for him.
His blackness would attract a good percentage of the “black” vote in the cities.
“Black” voters are becoming more sophisticated every year. They no longer believe that they need the “Rev. Jesse,” or the “Rev. Al,” to speak for them.
They have seen powerful black Republicans such as Secretary of State Powell or National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice, and others in positions of power who are there, not because of their blackness and not in spite of their blackness, but just because they are capable citizens whose service is needed.
It would be a step down for Alan Keyes, after being United Nations Ambassador and Presidential candidate, to run for the lowly office of Governor. But I think if the right people approached him, and convinced him Maryland’s need at this time, that he consent to run.
Onward into the 21st century.
Alan Keyes for Governor.